


Little Lion Man

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Anxiety, Gen, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, I think it's fine, I'm sorry if the timeline doesn't make sense but it doesn't make sense in CC either, James is a good brother, Panic Attacks, Potter Family Feels, blink and you miss the hint to Scorpius' self harm, james is going through a lot okay, worry over a family member
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-30 06:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: James Sirius Potter was a fearless Gryffindor with a strong lion heart. Until his younger brother goes missing and they find out Voldemort’s daughter is the one who took him. Scared and alone, not knowing where or what had happened to his little brother, James learns he is not as brave as he once thought he was.





	Little Lion Man

_ **Weep for yourself, my man,** _  
_ ** You'll never be what is in your heart** _  
_ ** Weep little lion man,** _  
_ ** You're not as brave as you were at the start** _

_ ** [Mumford And Sons] ** _

#

James barely remembers the day his little brother, Albus, was born; he was only two. His mum said he cried for three days because he wanted a sister, then when he finally got to see Albus on the day he was brought home from the hospital (there were some complications which meant he had to be kept in) he cried again, but this time out of love for his little brother. His mum always tells him of the day James first held him and told his mum and dad, “I’ll always protect him.”

James had failed to keep that promise.

They were close growing up, but once James started Hogwarts, they grew apart. James got his own friends and being close to his brother was no longer ‘cool’. Albus grew even more distant once he started Hogwarts himself, being sorted into Slytherin and becoming even more of a black sheep. Then, he befriended the Malfoy boy. That didn’t sit right with their dad. And because it didn’t sit right with Harry, it didn’t sit right with James either.

It wasn’t entirely James’ fault that they grew apart. Where once upon a time, Albus would welcome James into his room and they’d talk for hours or play games, Albus would now just shout at him to get out. As a kid, Albus was prone to nightmares and sometimes James would go into his room and hold him until he stopped crying. Albus no longer let James do that.

Despite all this, James still loved his little brother fiercely. He even liked his little friend, too. He admits he was nervous around Scorpius at first, but it was clear how loyal he was to Albus. No one could fake the look on his face. So, James eventually warmed up to him.

And then, the summer leading up to Albus’ fourth-year happened, and everything went to… well, shit.

James was sat with Lily on the sofa with an arm wrapped around her whilst they listened to the argument taking place upstairs. Shouting was rare in the Potter household, but if it happened, it was always between Albus and dad. It was loud, fierce and harsh. The words spoken by their dad – the dad that James looked up to and admired greatly – rang through the halls.

_“Well, there are days when I wish you weren’t my son.”_

Lily gasped. His mum was a bundle of anger ready to explode. James was quiet. He was stunned for words.

He tried to talk to Al that night, but he just shut him out. James sat on the other side of Al’s door for hours, listening to him sob and wishing there was something he could do. But, there wasn’t. Not really. He drafted a letter to Scorpius telling him what happened and to be kind to Albus when they met at the station the next morning, but he never sent it.

The next morning, Albus never said a word. He never said goodbye to anyone. He hopped on the train and that was the last time James saw him for weeks. Because he and Scorpius jumped off the train. Albus ran away. With little to no explanation, James lost his little brother.

It was Lily who told him. She came running over in the Great Hall, shouting and screaming, incredibly frantic, saying how she was supposed to meet Albus off the train and he never showed. And he wasn’t at the Slytherin table. And no one had any idea where he was. Not James. Not Headmistress McGonagall. Not mum or dad. No one.

Albus was gone.

His little brother who he swore to protect was gone without a trace.

And James didn’t know if he’d ever see him again.

He spent the next three days worried sick. Wondering how to get him back. Desperately seeking ways to find him. Albus showed up three days later with a broken arm and refusing to tell anyone where he’d been. Scorpius was different too: quieter. That should have been the first sign something was wrong. James tried visiting Albus in the hospital wing, but once again he wanted nothing to do with him. He wouldn’t speak to James in the common room either. Dad banned him from seeing Scorpius, and it seemed to take a toll on his mental health.

James never understood why dad did that. Scorpius was Albus’ only light, and now Albus was very, very dark. To try and get answers, James cornered Scorpius in the library – the only place he’d seen the other boy since Albus’ return. He hadn’t even been in the Great Hall for food.

“Malfoy,” James said, voice harsher than intended. Scorpius jumped a mile, crashing into the bookshelf and scattering books all over the floor.

“J-James, hi. Erm, I’m sorry,” he spoke, flinging himself to the floor and collecting the books up.

“Sorry?” James asked, perplexed. What could Scorpius possibly be sorry for? James bent down and picked up the rest of his books, but Scorpius flinched away again. Scorpius stood, placing the books back on the shelf. “Sorry for what?”

“I – er – I… I don’t – know. I just thought – it doesn’t matter. I’ll be going now,” he spoke so fast that James barely caught the words, but he just managed to catch Scorpius’ arm quickly. Scorpius pulled away fast, cradling his arm to his chest. He was more jittery than normal. Scorpius had always been a bundle of anxious energy, but it somehow seemed to have increased.

James held his hands up in apology. “What’s going on with you and Al?”

“Albus? Nothing, nothing at all. He just doesn’t want to ever talk to me again and he probably hates me, but I guess that’s okay, it was only really a matter of time before he did so I can’t really blame him, and I guess it’s your dads fault as well, putting things into his head about me but why would anyone really want to be friends with Voldemort’s son, huh? I don’t even like me most days, it’s a miracle Albus ever did.”

Scorpius cut himself off, waving a hand in James' direction and shooting off before James could get another word in.

His dad. He would talk to his dad next.

But, James didn’t get the chance because his dad was, once again, running off after Albus, who had run off with Scorpius again. They clearly made up.

Next thing James knew, he was outside McGonagall’s office with his sibling and cousins, listening to a broken rendition of the events of the past few months. He listened as Scorpius sobbed and Albus explained something about a time-turner and Rose not existing. And then he, himself, didn’t exist, as well as James and Lily and their dad.

Rose sobbed alongside them, and James pulled her into a hug. Lily sat next to him, head on his shoulder. He couldn’t tell if she was crying too. When the doors to McGonagalls office opened, they scattered like cockroaches, showing no evidence of ever listening in.

#

“Al!” James called, jogging over to the Slytherin table and sitting opposite his brother. Albus rolled his eyes as James approached and Scorpius shuffled closer to Albus, as though James was going to bat-bogey hex him. Ever since they were found in the lake, the boys have been inseparable. Scorpius stuck to Albus like glue.

“James,” Albus spoke in a bored tone.

“Are you – are you okay?” Albus seemed shocked at that question and reeled slightly.

“Spectacular.”

“I was just checking up, I don’t know what happened. Dad won’t tell me or Lily, but I wanted to make sure you’re good.”

“We’re good, James.”

“Well, you know you can talk to me, or whatever, about it. I’m here.”

“Thanks.”

That was quite possibly the coldest reaction James ever received from Albus. And he’d been on the receiving end of his cold remarks for fourteen years. James smiled his best reassuring smile and nodded. He briefed at glance at Scorpius who – surprisingly – weakly smiled at him before walking back to the Gryffindor table, shrugging at Lily and Rose.

That night, whilst James tried to sleep, he found himself wondering what would have happened if Albus had never been found. Ideas of finding Albus’ mangled body on the side of the train tracks floated around his head. Sounds of his mum and sister crying their poor little hearts out. Visions of his dad shutting down and blaming himself, never resting until he could pin the blame on someone for the death of his son and never accepting that he would have been the reason.

His little brother nearly died. He had nearly lost his baby brother; the baby brother he vowed to protect and failed. Failed so very dramatically. James wiped a stray tear away. He would not cry. He’s a Gryffindor. A lion. Lions don’t cry. Lion’s are brave.

And Al wasn’t dead.

He was right here.

Right here.

Right here.

“JAMES!” Lily’s cry, tiny footsteps pattering through the halls and up to his dorm. “JAMIE!” James jumped out of bed, ready to protect his little sister, ready to hex whoever hurt her. He swung the door open just as she reached it and she ran into him.

“Lily?”

“Jamie… he’s – Al – he’s gone – someone’s dead – Jamie.”

_Al._

Al was gone.

Again.

James wrapped his arms around Lily, picking her up gently. She was still so light, so young. She was a fierce soul, but this: losing her brother. That could destroy even the brightest of sparks. He took her down to the common room and from there, tried floo-calling his parents. No one answered. He tried Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron and again, no response. He even tried Draco, but again, nothing.

James wasn’t sure how long they sat there waiting for news. Any kind of news. Morning came, and the news of the death of Craig Bowker Junior – a fellow prefect and one of James’ friends – spread like fiendfyre. But James still never cried.

He was a Gryffindor. Gryffindor’s didn’t cry.

But then the other news came.

Ginny Potter stumbled into the Gryffindor common room, eyes bleary with tears, and told them both they were going home. She told them Albus – Albus was – was – missing. Gone. Without a trace. All that was left behind was the body of a young boy and people who reported hearing Scorpius scream till his lungs hurt.

They had no more information.

Lily clung to James all the way to McGonagalls office where they flooed home. Dad wasn’t there, he was at the Ministry trying to come up with some kind of plan.

No one really knew what to say. His Uncles visited throughout the day, giving their best wishes to mum and wishing for Albus’ safe return. A part of James thought the worst: that Albus was already dead. If Craig was, then who knows what had happened to Albus and Scorpius. And why was Scorpius screaming? Was Scorpius dead too? Even if Albus survived and somehow made it home, if Scorpius wasn’t next to him, Albus wouldn’t be the same again.

James learned that day that desperate people do desperate things when he found himself praying in his room, begging some higher power to bring them both home safely.

Lily crawled into his bed that night, too. She hadn’t done that for a few years. Yet, here they were.

The days went on just like that. Dad would go to work and come up empty. Mum would cry at the breakfast table when she didn’t think anyone was listening. Draco showed up a few times in a fit of fury, demanding someone find his son. James’ heart ached for him. What James was going through was bad, but he could hardly fathom the pain Draco was going through.

No one told him anything. He and Lily were constantly in the dark.

A few days later when Harry returned home late from work, James confronted him. He was tired of not knowing anything. Albus was his brother.

“Dad?” James asked, startling Harry. He turned around, face illuminated by the soft glow of the kitchen lamp. “Any luck?”

“No, Jamie. Go to bed.”

“No.” James snapped, Harry seemed slightly taken aback. “He’s my brother, I deserve to know! What’s going on? Is he even alive?”

“I don’t know, James.”

“You don’t know? You don’t know anything? At all?” James shouted, his Gryffindor fire peeking through.

“Of course we know something.”

“Then tell me! Dad, that’s my little brother. My _baby _brother,” James was beginning to choke up. He hadn’t cried yet. Not properly. He couldn’t. He had to be strong. For his mum, for Lily, for himself. “Don’t I – ” a sob erupted from him, a couple of stray tears escaping his eyes. “Don’t I deserve to know? Don’t I – at least get to – help?”

“Oh, Jamie,” his dad said, walking over and pulling him into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” James pulled out of the hug.

“You don’t get to be sorry. Not to me.” James was beginning to realise why you should never bottle up your feelings, because he was about to explode in a rage of black and white. “This is your fault! You – you told Albus – _that._ That’s how this all started! And now you’re so hung up on finding him that you’ve forgotten that you have two other kids who need you too!”

Harry seemed stunned for words. The thing with Harry Potter is that he couldn’t handle other people when they matched his pain. Even his own kids. He was a good dad, not a great one. James loved him, and worshipped him, but even he could admit he had failed Albus. When his dad never responded, James left the kitchen.

He walked to his room, slammed the door behind him and finally – _finally_ – let the tears pour down. He welcomed them like an old friend sent off to war. He needed them. He needed them to remind him he was alive. That even though the world was a complete and utter mess and his life was falling to pieces and his little brother was missing, his tears reminded him he was there. Alive. Well. Living. As long as he was alive, he would remember Albus. As long as he was alive, he could find Albus.

He would hold on. For Albus. Albus needed that.

James decided right there and then that when – yes, when – Albus returns, he would never abandon him again. He would be a good older brother. He would protect him like he always promised to. He was Albus’ brother. He would be that brother.

He fell asleep that night against his door and his sleep was clouded with dreams and nightmares of Albus. Of finding him but not alive. Of finding him but not the same. Of never finding him. Of finding only him. Of finding only Scorpius.

When he woke the next morning, his uncle George was there with no sign of his mum and dad.

“Hey, Jamie,” his uncle greeted, pushing a tea in front of him. Lily was already up, eyes already red-rimmed. James eyed them both, cautiously sitting in his seat at the dining table.

“Where’s mum and dad?”

“They’ve gone to get Albus.”

James stood up, scraping his chair off the floor and knocking some of the tea on the table. “They know where he is? How? Where? Why didn’t they tell us?”

George placed a hand on his shoulder. “Because it’s complicated. He’s stuck… in time.”

“Time?”

“From what I can gather, he was kidnapped by whom we suspect is Voldemort’s daughter.”

“Daughter?” Lily choked, standing up too.

James stumbled backwards, the new information whirring throughout his brain. If Albus had been kidnapped – by the daughter of the most dangerous wizard of all time – then surely there was no way Albus could be alive. James crashed to the floor, the world around him going blank. There were tears on his cheeks and sobs racking his body, but that was all he knew.

He longed for Albus. He longed to put his arms around him and hug him until everything was okay. He longed to protect him, to save him, to never let harm come to him again. He longed for his little brother. His little brother who broke his arm when he fell from his training broom at three years old. His little brother who laughed so hard he snorted milk through his nose when James pulled funny faces at him. His little brother who was his entire world. His little brother who he let down.

Who he might never see again.

Who he might lose.

Who he already lost.

“James. Jamie?” There was a voice calling his name, but it wasn’t Albus’ so he didn’t care.

“James?” His little sister. He had to be strong for her.

He snapped back to reality, seeing the same pair of bright brown eyes staring back at him. Lily and his uncle George. Lily’s wide eyes were set on him, tears streaking her freckled cheeks. He sniffed, wiping the tears quickly and pulling her in for a hug.

He may have lost his brother. But his sister was still here.

James would be lying if he said he remembered much after that. He stayed in a permanent state of panic, the hours blurring into one. He was like that, unable to speak, unable to function until his parents returned home – with his baby brother. And Scorpius.

When Albus walked home through the floo, attached to their mums arm, he was different. His green eyes – once vibrant and alive – were empty and cold. He looked like he’d seen a ghost – but James fears the daughter of Voldemort was much more terrifying than a ghost. There were large bags under his eyes, so dark he looked as though he’d been punched a few times. For all James knew, he had been.

Albus refused to speak unless it was to ask if he could see Scorpius, who had gone home to spend a few days with his dad. Albus locked himself in his room when dad refused to let him see Scorpius. No one said much after that. No one knew what to say.

Albus’ first night back seemed almost surreal. He was back, and James should be happy. But it didn’t feel like he was back. Because Albus was still refusing to talk to him, or Lily, or dad. He just wanted Scorpius, and James couldn’t give him that. James had no idea how to help him. But when he woke to Albus screaming in the middle of the night, he knew he needed to help.

James ran out of his room, pushing past his dad and told him to go back to bed, that he could handle Albus. He knocked softly, though Albus didn’t hear it. James entered to find Albus squirming around on his bed, fists curled and face one of trepidation.

“NO. STOP, PLEASE, STOP!” He was screaming. James turned the light on and sprinted to his bed, jumping on it and instantly wrapping his arms around him.

“Shhh, Albie. It’s okay. You’re okay,” he murmured, hoping to soothingly bring Albus out of his nightmare. He kept whispering over and over until Albus’ body stiffened, and his eyes opened.

“Jamie?” He whimpered. _Jamie._ Albus hadn’t called him that since he was eight.

“I’m here, Al. I’m here,” James said, stroking a hand through his brother’s hair. Albus seemed to relax slightly, letting himself breath against his older brother. James was reminded of a time when they were younger after a similar circumstance, and James held Albus until he stopped crying.

“Scorpius?” He asked, still in that vulnerable whimper and his breathing ragged.

“He’s at home, he’s okay.”

“She tortured him, James. She hurt him and – and it’s –” Albus succumbed to his sobs. “It’s my fault!”

If this whole situation hadn’t already ripped his heart in two, that one sentence would have. James had no doubt that it wasn’t really Albus’ fault. However, Albus – even though he’d never admit it – was a lot like their father and had the same everything-is-my-fault complex.

“It’s not, Albus. And you're both safe. Let’s focus on that, okay? You’re safe, she’s gone. You’re safe and she’s gone. Say it with me,” James spoke softly. Albus nodded. “You’re safe.”

“And – and she’s – gone,” Albus finished after a few deep breaths. “I’m safe. Scorpius is safe.”

“And she’s gone,” James finished.

“We’re safe and she’s gone,” Albus said one more time, his breathing now steady. “Scorpius, James, please. I need to check he’s okay.” Albus was scrambling up now and rushing to put on a jumper. It didn’t look like one of Albus’ jumpers, so James guessed it was Scorpius’.

“Okay, okay,” James jumped up, placing a hand on either shoulder. “We’ll floo the Manor, see if anyone’s up, but if not we’re coming straight back to bed, okay?”

“Fine, okay,” he said, probably only to get James to shut up. James followed Albus downstairs, where he frantically grabbed the floo powder off the counter and threw it into to the fireplace, shouting Malfoy Manor.

James sat down next to him and waited for a moment. It was early in the morning, James would be surprised if anyone was actually up. Which was why it was such a shock when Draco Malfoy’s voice came from the other side, the image of he and Scorpius sitting on the sofa appearing in view.

“Albus?” Mr. Malfoy said, not unkind.

“D-Draco, I’m sorry for calling so late.”

“Albus? What’s wrong?” Scorpius said, sitting up slightly but not moving from his dad’s embrace. It was a strange sight to see, James had never seen Scorpius be that close to his father before.

Albus shook his head. “I - just a nightmare, I wanted to check you were okay. Are you?”

Scorpius looked to his dad before responding. “I can’t sleep, bad dream too.”

Albus nodded. “But you’re okay?”

“As I can be. Are you?”

"As I can be."

“It’s nice of you to check up, Albus,” Draco said. “But Scorpius should really get some rest now.”

“Of course, Mr. Malfoy. Thank you.”

“Good night, Albus,” Scorpius said, softly smiling.

Albus swallowed the lump in his throat and said, “good night, Scor.”

The Malfoy’s signed out and James led Albus back up to his room. Albus never took off the jumper he’d thrown on and instead curled up under his duvet, cuddling himself and the jumper. James couldn’t be entirely sure, but he suspected something had shifted between Albus and Scorpius. He smiled to himself. Scorpius would be good for him.

“Albus?” James said. Albus looked up him through his hair. “Do you want me to stay?”

Albus contemplated this for a moment, before gently nodding his head. James smiled and climbed in next to him, close enough so Albus would know he’s there, but far enough for him to have his own space.

“You’re safe now, little brother.” James promised, giving Al one pat on the arm.

“Thank you, Jamie.”

James watched Albus until he fell asleep, swearing to himself that he would never let anything happen to him again. Albus going missing… it terrified him. Like nothing had ever terrified him before. He was a Gryffindor. Gryffindor’s don’t get scared. They face everything with a strong, brave lion heart and they don’t shake under pressure.

But this.

This was something different. No Gryffindor could be brave after that. Not even James Sirius Potter.

The little lion man will never be what is in his heart. The little lion man was not as brave as he thought he was. The little lion man trembled under the greatest pressure. Nearly losing Albus took all the courage he had in his little lion heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope this wasn't too emotional for you because man I sobbed writing it!  
I'd love to hear your thoughts either in the comments below or hit me up at:  
Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


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